Did you set a New Year’s Resolution?
I didn’t, but I do set monthly goals. And this month’s goal is to be a bit ruthless. And not with other people, but with myself.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been a people pleaser. And even though I’ve done a LOT of work to be delivered from that, and even though I help my clients break from it now, I found that trait starting to creep back in. And that's unacceptable to me.
So I’ve tackled it head on. I’ve been firmer on my boundaries. I’ve (respectfully) let people know when they’ve crossed a line. When my dad made an insensitive joke, I told him that I love him, but I won’t allow him to talk to me like that. I’ve turned down women who were interested in working with me, but I knew were not a good fit. And I’ve gotten ruthless with my time. I’m being more intentional about how I spend my time, starting my day with prayer and meditation instead of just fitting it in sometime during the day.
Why am I telling you this?
Because the women who don’t attract healthy love are the women who aren’t a little ruthless.
When you spend all of your time trying to make others happy, you don’t make friends or attract love. You send up a big ole flag telling people that you're available to be taken advantage of. And that’s if you attract anyone at all. You drain all of your energy. People don’t want to be around you because your heavy energy is contagious. That ages you, you look miserable, and then you wonder why good men don’t approach you. Boo, why would they approach a tired, old hag with a mean look on her face? And if you think I’m talking biological age, I’m not. I see women in their 60s who look more vibrant than I do. And I see women in their 20s who look wayyyy older than I do at 31.
And you know what happens when you aren’t ruthless with your time? You allow time wasters in your life. Even good people- people who love you- will put things on your calendar that you don’t need to be bothered with. The bad ones take advantage of you - see the previous paragraph
And you miss out. You’re not growing mentally or emotionally because you’re not taking the time to care for yourself. You’re not meeting the people who will lift you up and inspire you because you’re spending time with people who are committed to staying at the bottom. You’re not fully experiencing your life because you’re living the life others expect you to live. You’re wasting time in dead end relationships because you’re too busy worrying about hurting someone’s feelings. Or because you’ve never spent intentional time on yourself, you don’t realize what you bring to the table and settle for anything.
Tell me. Are you being ruthless with your time and energy? And if not, how are going to change that?
