I was in elementary school when my brother broke my heart.
You see, my brother is ten years older than I am. By the time I was about 10, and he was 20, he was no longer going to church with my parents and me. But he came one Sunday, and immediately noticed one of the girls his age. And she noticed him, too.
And I was sooo excited! You see, I loved this girl. She was my she-ro. She led a children’s group I was in, and I wanted to be her when I grew up. I immediately started picturing what it would be like when she and my brother got married, and she became my big sister.
And that’s when my brother broke my heart. He and this girl talked for a week or two, and then he moved on, and even at that age, I could see that she was heartbroken over it. A friend asked him what happened, and he said, “man, I can’t date her. She’s too smart, and she has too much going on. I’d have to come up to her level.”
Fast forward 20 years, they both grew up and moved on, and are both happily married to other people. But that experience taught me something early. Men know what type of women they’re dealing with. And it didn’t take my brother long to see that if he had continued dating this girl, he would have been wasting her time. He moved on to a girl who frankly, had less going on in her life.
I coach so many women who want to know why seemingly nice men will suddenly disappear on them. Let me tell you this, love. Sometimes, you don’t know what God is saving you from. A good man who knows he’s not ready for a relationship will do the nice thing, and exit your life. Hopefully, he’ll be mature enough to be upfront with you, but we don’t always get the answers we want in life. It’s the truly low-value men who will stick around even when they know they have nothing to offer you.